Young and stupid

Every time I come back, I feel like a total mess-up.

I don't feel good enough and I feel like I'll never be able to be good enough.

I try to be all responsible and grown up, but the truth is that I'm still wild at heart. I'm still an adventure seeking, adrenaline craving young grasshopper. Learning by making mistakes. Having fun and forgetting about the time. Adapting to the situation and not being too worried about what happens next.

I know I should be able to think everything through before jumping at the occasion and just gong with it, but I can't live that way... I have tried it, but it feels empty and controlled.

I need life too take me where it wants me to go. I need life to test me and test what I'm capable of. I still need to make mistakes, so I can learn from them, grow stronger because of them.

That doesn't mean I'm going to go looking for trouble, I'm just going to test life and see what it has too offer.

I need to live irresponsibly from time to time - and get stuck in a place I didn't plan too get stuck at. And just go where the night takes me. That doesn't mean I'll be completely irresponsible and loose my values. I have more dignity than that. YOU thought me better than that!

Just let me be and trust that life will take me exactly where I should go, too grow stronger and be taught the lessons of life... Let me be and trust life too give me back to you.

I have to be able to do this. I have to know my strength. I have to know whether I'm good enough. I have to know whether I listened to what you taught me.

I have to know!