For arguments sake

You know that feeling you get... The one where you start wondering if you'd be strong enough to resist the first kiss when it comes too early. That feeling where you wonder if you'd be strong enough to resist kissing him the very first time you see him again. You know that feeling, right?

Well I've got that feeling!

The feeling I feel, is the one constantly arguing with me. So I guess this is the point where I give a little background.

So, I have this rule. I don't kiss a guy I'm serious about before we go out. And I have a second rule, when I really like the guy and I dream and think about a future together, I don't kiss him within the first month we go out. And now, here comes the argument.

I really like this amazing guy, but I haven't seen him in quite a while. I've dreamt about a future together and we've talked about a future together. Yet we are still officially still friends (who really like each other, if you catch my drift).

Now my question comes in. Will I be able to resist a kiss, when he stares into my eyes with those perfect eyes of his? Will I be able to take it slow when I see him and make sure that this relationship last until the end of time.

Or, do I just accept everything as it is and how it goes...

I know everything will happen exactly as His plans are laid out for me. I just wish I thought about it less and just go with it more.


But the truth will always be, that I like him. And it will take the end of eternity to change that. ♥

If we ever meet again

What will happen the day I see you again? How will I react? How will you react? What is it going to be like seeing you for the first time in months?

What if it's different when I see you again? What if I'm not what you remembered me to be like? What if you're not all I remember you to be?

What if my worst dream came true? What if you don't fall in love with me as person? What if you despise my way of being? What if we get irritated with each other?

These questions haunt me every day. Everything feels too unreal. It feels like a horrid real-life dream and I feel like I'm going to wake up any moment, just to realise that my mind made up the whole story.

It bothers me that I don't have any physical proof of our feelings for each other. It bothers me that I haven't seen you in months. It bothers me that I've fallen for you and I have yet been able to say it to your face. It bothers me that I feel like I love you and we haven't spent any number of minutes yet together since the day we last parted.

I'm horridly scared of losing you. I'm terrified of having to think about what my life would be like without you a part of it. I get sick at the thought of a future without you.

I need to see you again. I need for these feelings to feel real. I need to feel what it feels like to be in your arms. I need to see your eyes again. I need to feel your fingers wrapped in mine. I need to be next to you again. I need to hear you laugh, see you smile, hear you talk. I need you and I need you now.

I'm trapped in this vortex of thought, wondering, fearing, hoping, wishing, dreaming, thinking.

Is this all too real to be true, or can a simple person like me live in a fairytale like this as a real life fantasy?

Will this be my forever after, or my next hard life lesson?

No one else but you

This is too perfect to be real.

How can somebody, once a stranger, become somebody who means the world to me in a matter of months.

You were once a stranger, we met by accident, nothing planned. We became acquaint by choice, and friendship bloomed by time. Then I fell for you - and I fell hard, my face lay planted.

I was mesmerized by your eyes. Addicted to the sound of your voice. Yearning for the feeling of your arms around me. Dreaming about the day you kiss me. Wishing for you to be mine.

My world crashed when I found out you belonged to somebody more beautiful than I could ever be.

I made peace with His plans for me. I realised that I need you in my life and that it would be fine with me if you were my friend for the rest of my life. So friendship it was.

We were friends and I tried being a friend, as a friend should be. Ignoring the longing feeling. Ignoring the dreams. Ignoring the wishes. Not getting my hopes up. Trusting in what ever His plans were for me. I had peace that everything will work out as it should.

Then your world started spinning and I was there for support. It hurt me that you got hurt. By no means did I like the fact that you were unhappy. I didn't like the fact that you weren't smiling.

Then you used me. A desperate act to fix something broken. That was too much for me to handle, so I tried living my life without you in it. Not talking to you. Trying and miserably failing not thinking about you. It was impossible to keep the dreams of you away. I lasted two days.

Then everything changed.

I realised that I really can't live my life without you in it.

I remembered that everything happens for a reason and that there is a reason why we meet the people in our lives.

I realised that every person crosses your path, either to become a part of your life, or to teach you a life-lesson.

So I made peace with the fact that you might be the next lesson I should learn.

Then I fell in love with you and now I can't imagine my life without you.

You came into my life, but a stranger, now I dream of spending eternity with you ♥

Just be you!

Being deceitful, devious or underhand. Well simply put, it means that you mislead people. You lie. You're false and not true to yourself.

I don't have time for people who change who they are according to the people they see.

Be who you are, everywhere you go. Be who you are, with whom ever you are.

Because if you can't be you all the time. Who are you really then?

You can't expect me to trust you, if you're not honest with yourself. You can't expect me to be your friend if you're not the same person in front of everybody.

You can't say that you're not going to do something and you agree with me, and the next moment go out and do it.

It's childish and immature of you. Grow up and get to know yourself better. Get your own personality and stop trying to fit into other peoples personalities.

Stop telling me one thing and then going out and doing something else.

I classify deceitful under the same category as lying. Don't lie to me.

Be yourself, because while you're hiding yourself from everybody because you're afraid of not being loved for who you are. You're hiding your true self from the one person who will love you, for you.

Be yourself, because no body else will ever be able to be you.

Be yourself, because God made you to be you, not somebody else.

Be you and be hated for who you are, rather than being loved for what you are not.

Firsts

Every girl has a first.

A first crush... A first kiss... A first boyfriend... A first mistake... A first heartbreak... A first great loss...

Every girl has a first love...

So I've had my first crush and many more after that to follow... I've had my first kiss and not that many after... I've had my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak... I've had my first mistake and a my first giant mistake after that... I've had my first great loss...

And now I met you, I'm wondering if you might be my first true love... And maybe my first and only forever...

But all of this still feels like a dream, unreal!

This all feels like something out of a story yet to be told, something imagined on a rainy day. Something yet to be understood. Something every girl would dream about.

I dream about you at night. I dream about your arms around me. I dream about you just being with me. Smiling at me. Being with me.

I think about you at day. All day, every day. I think about what you're doing, how you're feeling, if you're thinking about me. I think about us and how perfect it could be.

And then I think about how hard I'm going to hit the floor if you don't catch me.

Do you have any intention of catching a falling damsel in distress.

Do you have any intentions of making this forever.

Do you have any intention of being mine and making me yours.

Do you have any intention of being as serious as I feel about you.

Will you be my first love, my forever. Can I be yours.

Just another love story

So here's the story, about a girl who fell in love with a boy. And now she's terrified of the possibility of being the rebound girl.

I met you, not too long ago. An I fell in love with you, not too long ago...

She left you, some time ago. And I think you might have fallen in like with me. Until you tasted what freedom could be; and now I'm wondering what is next for me.

I've been dreaming about our first kiss ever since we met, every time a dream different dreamt - but the feeling the same. A feeling of wonder. A feeling I've never felt in my life. A feeling I can get addicted to.

The first dream we shared. The first dream, was a dream about a real moment. The first dream, was a dream we had at the same time. The first dream will never be forgotten.

Then the time went by and the dreams became more frequent.

I dreamt about our first kiss, more than once. Every time a different scene.

I dreamt that you would have all these plans and not tell me anything. I dreamt that you one day just pitched. We were an us in my dream.

You arrived while I was busy concentrating on something. They beeped me to go down. I went down, my mind not registering anything.

Confused at first why I didn't see anybody and when I looked outside, you stood there. I woke up just as you held me in your arms.

That wasn't the last dream.

The longer  we talked, the more frequent the dreams became and the more addicted I became. I wanted to dream about kissing you every night. I would make sure that you were the last person I think about before I fall asleep. I would make sure that I had you in my mind before I drift off to sleep.

Another time, I had a dream about us. We weren't yet official in my dream, but in my dream it wasn't our first date either.

I dreamt that you surprised me and took me to the most beautiful place I've ever seen. I place I've never been to. With an amazing view. We ordered something warm to drink and I sat in your arms while we watched the sun set.

You tilted my head, looked into my eyes and told me that you fell in love with me and asked me if I would be your princess until the world ends.

I woke up with a butterfly feeling and the last memory of the dream - your eyes staring into mine. I miss the colours of your eyes.

I dreamt about visiting you. We just sat on a couch, you had your head on my lap while I was reading one of my books. Some parts I read out loud so you could laugh with me. Other parts I read out loud so you could hear an amazing part.

I dreamt that you fell asleep on my lap. And I just sat there, with you in my arms. Thinking how good this would feel forever.

I woke up missing you and wondering if you were thinking about me.

As I sit here I'm curios about your thoughts. What are you thinking about. What are you doing. What do you feel. Where is your heart.

I'm scared about what the future might hold. I'm scared of this all just being a very long dream. I'm scared of chasing you away with my big dreams. I'm scared of losing you.

I keep thinking about a future together. About you and me and everything we could do together. About our lives together.

It would be you and me, together. Us against the world.

Open up to us

You just don't care, do you?

You don't care how much your words hurt. You don't care about the effect. You don't care about the way you say stuff. You just don't care.

You have a people limit, and unfortunately for us, its permanently exceeded. So we get to face the ripple effect. We get the side of you that isn't controlled.

You told us about a system you started at work, yet it doesn't work in your own house, because you can't apply the same system.

One time you'll tell me not to do something, so when I don't do it, you get angry at me.

You're always disappointed in me and nothing I ever do seems right in your eyes. You criticize everything I do and you always focus only on my negative.

Why can't we see the side of you we brag about? The side every other person sees. The side every other person knows. The side every other person talks about.

Why can't you focus on the positive. Why can't you see how hard I try, how hard I've been trying for years.

Why can't you realise that you are hurting us?

Why can't you just stop and listen for once?

Why cant you see you through my eyes? Why don't you want to listen?

Why don't you understand?

Trust in Him

Sometimes you ask God for something. And when He gives you the exact answer you asked for, you find it too hard to believe and instead you keep asking.

God's plan for you is perfect, so when He says yes, believe it! And embrace the gift given to you!

Thank Him for giving it to you and learn the lesson out of your answer. Even if that lesson means that you have to go through pain. The pain might be necessary for a bigger picture and I can promise you that if you make it through the pain, you will see how perfect His outcome is.

God will never lead you to something if He knows that you wouldn't make it through.


Trust in God, for He is our lifesaver who walks on water!

What does time have to do with anything?

Is it too early to feel that I might love you?

Is it too early to feel that I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with you?

Is it too early to dream about our future together?

Is it too early to plan a life together?

When I met you, I wanted to fight the urge I felt to talk to you. Then you said the first words and my head spiralled. When I first heard your voice, I didn't want to get addicted to the sound. Then we spent a whole night talking and my stomach had the most amazing butterfly feeling. When I first saw your eyes, I didn't want to look at them ever again - afraid that I might fall into their wonder. Then you took my face and held my gaze for a minute and I felt my heart skip a beat.

When we started getting along, I didn't want to miss any chance to see you. You were in my mind, every single moment of every day that passed.

When the time went by, I didn't want to say goodbye - afraid that you might never use the number you asked, afraid that I might never see you again. Then you messaged me and we never stopped talking, the conversations flowing through days and sometimes even weeks. Never have we ever had a default: "hi, how are you, what are you up to" conversation.

We share the same dreams. We think about the same things. We love the same things. We have the same aspirations.

In your arms I dream of being every night. Holding your hand in the day. Kissing you when you smile. Enjoying every moment with you. Your face would be the first thing I see every morning I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to bed. Our love would be the glue, holding something perfect together. Where time an distance doesn't matter.

I dream of spending the rest of my life with you, the perfect ring around my finger. The perfect ring on your finger, telling the world that you are mine and I am yours.

Life won't be easy every day, but we'll have each other and we'll have God and that would be everything we need.

Is it too early to feel this strong about you?

Is it too early to dream about a future with you?

Is it too early to love you?

Your smile

Last night, you told me that you would do anything to have me there - by your side.

Automatically my brain filed it under a promise. The make-or-break will come in when you don't keep that promise. When a promise is broken, you get filed under empty-promises, and I don't want you to be there.

I would do anything to see you smile, because I fell in love with it.

I keep a picture of you near, my favourite picture of you. The picture where your smile is the most genuine, the most beautiful.

I fell in love with everything about you.

I fell in love with your passion for animals. Your way of life. Your  way of making  me smile every day. Your way of making me blush. I fell in love wit my dreams of you - the endless possibilities. The possible endless love we could share.

I fell in love, with the guy with the orange and purple hair.

I fell in love, with the guy who took time to get to know me. The guy who let me hold the lizard. The guy who stole my ring, and wears it around his neck everyday.

I fell in love with your smile and the way you looked at me with your gorgeous eyes.