Standing back

In one day, we easily go through more than enough emotions too make anybody sea-sick!

In less than a month I've thought and rethought about quite a few things!

I've thought about you and what I've said a few times in my life - I don't think anybody would survive if they had to be in my mind when I start too think. Yes I have said that I like a few people more than once... and some I've even liked, lost the connection and picked it up again. Other I've liked and thought that it might mean forever. And other I've just lost interest in.

When I met you, I fought the feelings. How can I like somebody so strong when I know nothing of them? Then we started talking and I got to know you. I got to know a person, who likes allot of thing I like. Who can manage me and make me laugh, but also make me calm.

I met somebody who liked me for who I am, for the crazy and outspoken person I always am. I got to know somebody who laughs at my mistakes and builds my good characteristics. I got to know a person who looks rough on the outside, but has the softest heart on the inside.

I had the privilege to be myself around a fun, but responsible person. Who, for some reason stayed around and got to know me.

I have said the words: "I like you" quite a few times, to a few different people. The words: "I love you", I haven't used that much (accept if you count them, when you say it too friends and family).

Sometimes, I've told somebody that I like them, and I start thinking that I won't have eyes for anybody else... until I go away from them and see somebody else and I think I like them more. And sometimes that feeling disappears as soon as I tell somebody.

When I met you, I fought the feelings. I lost. I started liking you. I started thinking that there might be a slight, small possibility that you might like me back. According too the onlookers, it sure looked that way.

Unfortunately we both went our separate directions and I got to know that you were already in a relationship. Unfortunately for me, I now have no more interest in anybody else. I don't have eyes for the guys I thought I liked before.

I now walk around with the thought of you, every single day.

I walk around thinking of our time together and how fast we had the connection.

And I think of how lucky she is too have you. And I back away and try my best too hide my feelings for as long and as well as I can.

I won't for any reason break up what you have now, what would that make me?

I will stand back and wish you two all the best and all the happiness and I somehow know that someday, in some way that type of happiness might just find me.