Unwanted dream

Have you ever had that dream you've wanted to have some time ago, but when you eventually had it you didn't want it any more and now you're mind boggled about why in the world you would have the dream at such an inconvenient time.

That happened to me...

I had a crush on this guy for quite a while, only a crush because so many thing about him annoyed me - yet I liked him for some strange reason, maybe it was because I could have him that I liked him. I just liked the idea of liking somebody who says they like me (electronically - in real life it was like he didn't even see me) and that I can like without any attachment.

At stages I didn't like him any more, because I realised that he was immature and childish. At other stages I'd miss him and just enjoy talking to him. Other times I forgot that he even existed, until I see a photo of him and realise how damn cute he really is - oh and that body.

Then I met the most wonderful guy and I lost interest in every guy I've ever had a crush on. They just seemed not good enough. It's like my eyes went open and I realised that all the crushes I've ever had, thrown together and stirred, make up the wonderful-stunning-eyed-guy I met.

Now I can't imagine a life without him.

And then, bamm! Last night I had that dream I wanted to have a year ago. The dream freaked me out and frightened me at the same time.

I dreamed that the x-crush finally kissed me for the first time ever and it felt good. The twist comes in that I thought of my wonderful-stunning-eyed-boy while I was kissing the x-crush. The dream continued where, after kissing me, we went into the house. He and his girl, hand in hand, me and my friend then went somewhere together and he (x-crush) acted as if nothing ever happened.

So I realised something, that was exactly what our "relationship" was like and how it would have been if we actually kissed while flirting. X-crush always said how he liked me and thought I was cute, electronically. When it came to real life, in front of everybody else, it was like I never existed and I was just some fantasy of his to keep him busy when he was bored.

I didn't like how real the dream felt and woke up in a state of confusion. Luckily I have a good friend who said that I shouldn't think too much about it. "Don't be a typical woman and over-analyse this dream, it's not worth it." I tend to agree.

I met the most wonderful guy and one day I hope to call him mine. No more dreams about anybody else but him and us and the future.

It will always be him, me and our combined love for the things we share in life.