Butterflies

So I still have this strange feelingof nausia every time I'm a few minutes away from seeing you.

It's not necessarily a bad feeling. It's just a strange feeling.

Some might describe it as butterflies in their tummy. Others describe it as a knot. Some even say it feels like their hearts try to escape through their throughts. Others describe it as a feeling of constant explosion.

All I know is that every time I'm on my way to see the love of my life, or when the love of my life is on his way to see me, I experience this strange feeling.

When I'm away from you, I have no doubts. I know your feelings for me are strong. But when I'm away from you it seems like forever until we see each other again. When I'm with you, I'm certain of our feelings for one another

When I've been away from you for long, all I can think about is all the things I still want to tell you. I think about how wonderful it will be to have a home where you can come to after work. All I can think about is the feeling of being in your arms again. All I can think about is you.

You are my smile, my breath, my reason for existing. You gave me hope. You gave me peace. You made me experience love.

You made a promise to me. I made a promise to you. You gave me your life. I gave you my life. And now 9/11 will never mean the same to us as to the world.

From now on there can only be better to come.

We might be to young for marriage now, but in the future we'll wed. I'll be finished with my studies and we'll both be able to tie ourselves in holy matrimony. We'll be bound by words and signed documents - the future can only hold positive things, more possibilities. More freedom. More peace. More love.

I love you with every piece of my heart and I look forward to a future with you. A future with us.
(23 Nov 2012)

Circles around the moon

We were born with the talent to do anything in this life - how we grow up decides our future and what talents we use.

We both grew up differently - in different situations, with different opportunities and with different people. Yet we are the same in many aspects. So this leads to the question. What determines our destiny.

Every night there is a mystical circle around the moon - it's own shadow, it's own rainbow.

When we think, we think future. You and I.

You have enormous dream. I have enormous dreams. We have enormous dreams.

You dream of a house to call home. I dream of a place we can be happy and live in without troubles. A place, not too big and not too small. Somewhere we can both be creative. Somewhere we can both be us. We already decided that the kitchen will be your design and the bedroom will be mine. You'll handle the garage/bar area and I'll do the bathroom and the deck. We'll both work on our outside shower and we'll both do the dining area. It will be you and I. Together we'll make the world jealous.

Then we both snap back to reality and realise that we still have a few years before we can make our dreams come true.

You need to work and I need to study. You need to make money and I need to make money. But soon enough we'll have our lives together.

We'll be like the moon showing off it's rainbow to the wanderers all round. We'll be each others home. We'll be each others safety. We'll be coming home to something that belongs to us both.

It will be you and I against the world until there is no time - until forever and two more days.

Lady

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady. I forget that I'm not the one supposed to make way for a gentleman, but the gentleman should make way for me.

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady. I forget that I shouldn't sit or stand with my legs open, but keep them crossed as a proper lady should.

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady. I forget that I should be proper and behave.

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady. I forget that I shouldn't beat boys up and be cheeky.

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady and that I should allow gentleman to carry my luggage for me.

I sometimes forget that I'm a lady, but luckily I have you.

The one with the green-brown flecked eyes. The one who stole my heart and everything attached to it. The one who became my friend. Who became my life. The one I'm sharing my life with. My stories. My scandals. My past. The one I'm sharing my future with. The one I'm sharing eternity with.

Ours

I gave you what was mine to give. Not the first time and not even the second time. I gave you what was mine to give at the perfect time - the time we were both ready for it.

You gave me yours, long since broken - every piece, put together again by glue. You gave me what was yours to give.

The mind doubts and second guesses, but with you there is only certainty.

I gave you my heart and you gave me your heart.

It will be you and I against the world.

Anger and frustration

How can the whole world be right about me again?

Am I that obvious a person?

I use to think that nobody would ever be able to figure me out - it was my defence mechanism.

I always argued that I won't find love. I always argued that every person doesn't have that special somebody who will be able to stick through everything. I always argued that I won't get married. I always argued that I won't have children. It is safe to presume, I always argue - about everything.

Now that I have met you, I realise that every person in this life, has somebody who will handle everything thrown their way - my biggest fear now is doing something that will make you run. I am not an easy person to live with.

As we go through life, we get to know ourselves. I've learnt that my worst fear isn't spiders. My worst fear is going through this life, all alone. I've realised that I need somebody to be there with my every step. I've realised that I will need to get married one day.

After I realised this, I still continued to argue that I didn't want children - not the human type in any way.

I like to argue - it is what I do best. I am a cranky person - at least 3 days of every month. I am not an easy person to handle, yet you are excellent at it.

You made me realise that there is something like real love. You mad me realise that every girl does dream of her perfect wedding - in my case the perfect wedding ring. You made me realise that that there is a perfect husband for me - you. You also made me think about the pitter patter of little feet in our home one day - the human kind.

This feeling I have is strange - not in a bad way, just in an uncertain way. I've never felt it before, so I'm not quite sure what it is.

I've decided you are one of my kind. I've decided I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've decided it's you that I want. I've decided I'm never letting you go.