The devil within

A dark room, two people. One blinded by anger, the other confused by emotions. Both keen to relieve the world of both their personalities. One a knife in their hand, the other a paper thin rope. The one known as light, the other known as darkness. Darkness with the knife, ready to slice and colour the world with red. Light with the rope, ready to shred souls into oblivion. Both gorgeous to the eye, both loved by the human race. both wishing to leave the earth.

Ever dreamed of a silence, where even your brain stops thinking - I have. And I wish for that silence every day. A silence where no person can tell you what to do or what to think. A silence where no person enrages you. A silence where your thoughts come to rest and life becomes peaceful. A silence I wish for every day.

When I get provoked, I don't retract to protect,  I attack to kill - only I don't do it in real life, I create the scenario in my head. I imagine every detail, every movement, every feeling, every consequence. Then I take in every emotion and drown myself in it. I drown myself in emotions so real, that it becomes too much to handle. Until I become numb.

Imagine someone you loath, standing in a room. And darkness closes in, slowly but precisely cutting the skin with a razor sharp knife. The person just standing there, screaming and wishing for mercy, but unable to move an inch. No imagine you being the person and you being darkness. That is how I make myself numb. That is how I release myself from anger. That is how I slowly kill myself from the inside. That is what happens with every single emotion.

And that is why I wish I could just remove myself, remove darkness, remove light from the world and with it my story, my existence, my memory and every memory any person has ever had about me. It would be an easier world, a more peaceful word. It would be perfect!

Just another one of those

I've been told a few times that you'r a good person to have around, just because you're happy within yourself and you don't need other people's acceptance. What I've come to realize, is that you might not need other people's acceptance, but you hurt the people around you and you just don't care. And I've decided that I don't want to be just another one of those people. For the world consists of more than just you and your needs. This world consists of more than just me and my world. The world consists of more than just one person and their needs. This world is a web of personalities, each reacting in a different way when life hands them lemons.

I wonder how life would be if you had to live with every single person in your life, before you get the chance to decide whether or not you like somebody or not. Before I had to live with you, I thought you were a pretty okay type of person. Now that I live with you, I realize there's more than meets the eye.

You don't care about any other person's opinion. You feel that you are always right and there's nothing to it. You keep rectifying me when you feel that I don't know what I'm talking about. Well guess again, I actually do know what I'm talking about. You should stop and realize that you're not the only person with a degree behind you name. You're not the only person with an opinion. You're not the only person who knows what they're talking about. You're the only person with dreams and goals. You're not the only person with challenges in your life. You're like a parasite in my life from which I just cannot run. Well at least not for now.

Knowing this, I realize that I'm afraid of my own future. I can easily adapt to any personality I have to live with - even if the person has little annoying habits. What if the man in my life can't live with my little annoying habits?

Will he be able to handle me 24/7?

I guess the answer for that is yes. For when the right person comes along - everything might not be perfect, but everything works out to the best. And your other puzzle piece will be able to handle you at your worst as well as at your best. For the perfect fit is not a perfect person, but a person who loves another perfectly.

Consuming... Confusing

"When you can explain why you love somebody, it's not called -love- it's simply called -like-. For loving somebody doesn't need a reason. It never did need a reason."


When I met the man of my dreams I never thought I'd have to write a list of reasons to why I love him. Since when are people obliged to write down a list of reasons to why one loves a person. For when you write a list, are you writing it according to that which you know the person wants to hear, or are you writing that which you know is true. For every person has a different meaning of love. And who says my reasons for loving a person will be good enough for the person who acquired the list?

For one would love a family member, simply because they're family. And one would love a friend, simply for they are a friend. And one would love they neighbor, simply because they're the neighbor. So why would one require a list of reasons to explain why one loves the man of they dreams?

I have a million reasons to why we fit perfectly. I have a million reasons why you're the one for me. I have a million reasons as to why this will work. And I know this is love. For when one knows, one knows. There's no explaining it. There's no way to grasp love. Love is not something to define. Love is something to feel. Something to experience.

He needs no reason to love her. He simply loves her for all the things they've been through. She simply loves him for all the way's he's carried her. There's no reasons, for no reason is needed when you love. No explanation is required. Love is simply a feeling. It's simply a connection between two people who will go to the ends of Earth to be with one another. It's simply two people who will provide and forgive. Who will trust and understand. Who will learn and live. Who will face the challenges of the world together.

Love isn't a list of reasons. Love simply is.