Emotion roller-coaster!

Have you ever wished for an off-switch for your mind? Ever just wished that your mind could stop thinking - even if it was just for a second, a minute, or maybe a whole day? Or maybe just be quiet when you ask it to be quiet. Unfortunately, I have a mind with a personality of it's own - so the chances of that happening is slim to zero.

My mind wanders constantly. I'd start thinking about one thing and before I get to the conclusion of that
which I was thinking, I start thinking about something else. It's the same when I talk to someone.

I want to start my life, live my dreams, do the things I want to do - my way!

Now I'm stuck in the mud. I need to finish what I started three years ago. I need to get something behind my name before I could start my life. Before we could start a life. But you decided to do something adventurous this year and leave me for the dogs.

You're enjoying your life and I'm suffering through the last bit of something I can't just leave. You really chose a horrible year to run away from the things that irritate you. You could have just waited one more year, then we could have done the adventure together. we could have made double the money. We could have started us. Now I'm on this side of the world thinking about how easy you had your life without me and I'm wondering if i'm not spoiling your life for you. I'm wondering if I should just let you be, if I should just set you free to do the things as you've done them before.

Then I remember who you were before we met. You gave your life to alcohol and late nights. You didn't care about life. How I missed that I don't know, but that is typical me - I always see the good in people, until they disappoint me and then I wish I never existed.

How much easier would life be if I could silence my mind. If I could stop the blabbering. If I was on my own with my own money. If I didn't have to rely on anybody else. If I didn't have to worry about making anybody proud. How much better would life have been without me in it?