Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt?

"I can be selfish. I can be impatient. I'm insecure. I make mistakes. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of the road. I can get low and I won't know which way is up. I can get high and I'll feel like I could never come down.
Call it a curse! Or maybe just call me blessed!
If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best. Take me or leave me. I'll never be perfect, but I'll always be me. Believe me, I'm worth it. So take me, or leave me.
Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt?
The truth is, we'll mess up until we get it right. I don't want to end up losing my soul." ~ Nicki Minaj
Marilyn Monroe spent most of her childhood in foster homes, until she became an American actress and then later a major sex symbol. She lived herself, being herself. And she lived her life fully. Until today there isn't one opinion about her that is the same everywhere you go. Every person forms their own opinion about people in life and it will be like that until the world comes to an end.

There are times I feel like running away. When I feel like running to a whole new destination. Running away from my circumstances and the people I know. Just running until I come to a place where I have to start anew. Where I have to get to know new people, new systems, new characters, new streets, new everything. Unfortunately I am one of those people who get to know people quite fast. I am one of those people who remembers the people I meet. So I know at least one person from about everywhere. Except if you talk about on the other side of the blue oceans. There I know one or two people. But I'm not keen on running away from South Africa.

Every person has their ups and their downs. I am one of those people who take the ups and the downs to the max.

One minute I can be sky-high, happier than an employee receiving their year-end bonus. The next moment, without reason or warning I'll be down in the dumps. I'll be lower than a Blue Bull after they've lost a game.

I am an extremest. I either do something exceptionally well, or I don't do it at all. And unfortunately it carried over to my emotions as well.

Sometimes the down moments can last up to a week. Other times, it is a matter of slip in emotion. A slip of controlling all I hold inside. Just a momentary lapse.

The reason why these sudden lapse last longer than the temporary slip are yet to be discovered. Though I have discovered some of the reasons for setting the lapse into motion. I have discovered some things that might lead to a sudden change in emotion.

Thus I try to avoid these obstacles. I try and fail and try yet again. But alas, I am only human and I cannot control my emotions as well as I would like to.

Amidst all the emotional roller coaster rides, you came into my life. With you it seemed like all the wrongs chose to step aside. You became my reason to keep going. You became my reason to slime. That faithful smile that lingered on my lips for months on end. Everything felt better with you. The distance never an issue. The feelings just getting better and stronger. All the things we went through in the sort time, just made my love for you grow.


Every time I look into your eyes, I feel like I could stare in them for a lifetime.

I cannot put into words what you mean to me. I cannot express my gratitude enough. The way you make me feel. The safety when I'm in your arms. The way everything comes natural with you. The way everything feels so right. I cannot put into words how easily I fell in love with you. How easily love comes with you. My feelings for you keep growing, my love for you keeps showing.

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it. And if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best."