Doubt

 And for the first time I have this strange feeling.

It's the feeling of doubt.

A feeling only felt, I believe, as result of my past and everything I've been through. Or maybe it's a feeling felt because of all the things happening around me. Or because of all the questions asked.

I've never really thought about any of these things, because to me they don't seem that important. I mean, a relationship is based on the amount of effort both parties put in. Not on who the main provider is. Or how much money the main member will make.

Then I started thinking about all these questions.

Will you be able to provide for the both of us, in case something might happen. Or will it be okay if I'm the money-maker in the relationship.

What will happen when your dreams fail you? What will you have behind your name - other than experience?

Will they ever accept you for the way you are. Or did they make a decision about who they think you are, so they're sticking to it.

When we talk, it feels like days can go by. When people ask me what intelligent things we talk about, I can't think of anything. I just remember the times we laughed together - and those times are quite often.

Why will I doubt something that makes me happy?

Why will the people around me ask so many questions and not accept my hearts decision?

I can't choose who I fall in love with. I don't choose who I like. Things like that just happen.

I can be broke and I'll still be happy with you.

Life is not about what we get out of it, it's about what we do for it. If I'm happy, let me be. Please.

If this happiness doesn't last, it'll probably be my next lesson from God - and that is just fine with me. I'd rather learn all the lessons I can - and remember all the good times - than try to be happy all the time, while miserably failing.

Doubt isn't a good feeling. It makes ones mind go crazy. It takes away ones smile. It destroys beautiful things.

I don't doubt my feelings for the one I like. I have no doubt that we will last. I have no doubt in the fact that the one I like won't hurt me.

This time, I'm choosing my hearts decision and I'm sticking to the choice i made.